Sunday, October 14, 2007

Hide and Seek




One. He sprinted away from the post while searching for the most covert spot. Three. He decides which to take, under the wooden bed or inside the tattered closet. He went to the closet but abdul was already there twisting his body to fit himself in. No more room for another. Six. He rushed for the bed gasping his breath. He lied down and went under. His clothes caught the earth’s dirt. He can already see his mother scolding him. Nevermind. Today is playing time. Eight. He took a last glance at the post to ensure that rashid is not cheating. Assured, he waited for the ten. Waited. Waited. Waited.

It never came. The next sound he heard was kumander musa’s wake up call. Like everyone in the barracks, he rose instantly and picked his m16 rifle which is slightly shorter than him. Time to play the real hide and seek; with the 31st platoon of the army.They went outside, assemlbed, and moved. No time to eat breakfast. Lest, the enemy will catch up on them. As they trek the rugged mountains, akmad grinned as he recalls bits of his dream. He relishes these moments for only these bring him the experience of chidhood.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Distorted Justice

In our kind of society, where what is prevalent is the system of “rule of men” and not “rule of law”, everything depends on personal power. The powerful dictates what is right and what is wrong and their dictates can reach even matters personal where under “rule of law”, is entirely your own prerogative. For instance, under “rule of law”, a person owning a property can exercise the attributes of ownership on such property. He can possess it, dispose of it, use it, even destroy it. The exercise of such rights is a sole prerogative of the owner and no one can meddle with it. As the saying goes, a man’s house is his castle and he can exclude from it anyone not to his liking even the king. Not so in our society. The powerful can take anyone’s property or prevent him from exercising attributes of ownership over his property. It is the king than can exclude you from your own castle.

If such were to happen in a “rule of law”, the owner can resort and seek justice in the courts. He can for instance file a civil case for forcible entry and eject the usurper as well as ask for damages. He can also file criminal charges for usurpation of real property. The usurper regardless of how powerful he is will be convicted and jailed. All’s well that end’s well, if such were to happen in a “rule of law”. Not so in our society.

In our society, you cannot expect justice in the courts. I’m not saying that the judges are corrupt though there is credence in doubting some of them. The powerful, with all their guns and goons, can just scare your lawyers away or with their gold, bribe them to make your case as weak as a brittle stick. Imagine a scenario where the prosecution serves as a counsel for the defense. That’ll be the mother of all oxymorons but such are the things money can do. Or worse, they can just opt to kill you. Then, you are left with no one to defend your rights. Or worse, your rights die with you.

So, you cannot go to the courts, what is one to do in such situations? Create your own court and seek your own justice. Fight fire with fire. But in order to do so, you must be powerful. In our society, power is simply equivalent to guns + goons + military. Guns and goons will give you justice though in its distorted yet simplest form: eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But that is better than none. The military will be the backbone of your power simply because it is the most powerful institution in our system of government.

But all of these are simply stretches of imagination without money. If money makes the world go round, it makes our kind of society spin like a top. For the power that money brings thrives in a system of prevalent corruption. And what is our society but one submerged in a dung of corruption ? It stinks so much I can smell it from here.

How do you get money? There are many ways of earning money. You can earn it legally or illegaly. The second is out of the question and does not even deserve an explanation. First you can use your property as investment. Second, you can use your profession. The first is not entirely reliable not only because of business risks but also the fact that we are living in our kind of society. How can you earn the fruits of your property when you cannot even possess it! So long as you do not have enough power to possess your property, don’t even think of using it. Do not put the cart before the horse. This thought is really ridiculous because under normal circumstances, possession goes side by side with ownership and does not require a positive act. It is automatic. But do not laugh for we are not under normal circumstances. We are living in our society where like everything else, ownership is meaningless without power.

So, that leaves us to the second and only reliable way of earning money in our society: Profession. It is the ideal and so is the hardest. It is the ideal because it is the only property that is beyond the reach of the powerful. They may usurp away all your property but never your education. Unlike business ventures though, where returns are high because risks are high, the exercise of a profession will give you modest but definite returns. Nevermind that the returns are small for it may only be temporary. The small steps will eventually lead you to the peak of the mountain. Hence, education may be the key to open the doors of justice however distorted it may be and put you in a pedestal of equality. At this point, the words of Rizal ring like a bell. The pen is indeed mighter than the sword.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Cross-World

Yesterday was a defning moment in my life! It was one of those big turns you take in the long and winding road they call life. It was one of those milestones you mark in your memory to stresss its importance or to to guide you on your way back if ever something gets screwed up! Yes, it was indeed like that! Except this time, there is no turning back!

June 14, 2005 will occupy an important place in my memory! It will be remembered despite being stored in a place which most of time doesnt give justice to its name! That day was the day i gave up my heavenly world of comfort and embraced the dark days of pressure! That day was the day I enterd the burning and flaming gates of hell which they call law school!

June 14, 2005 was our first day of class in the san beda school of law! Technically, it wasn't the first day of class because it was just an orientation. But still, most of the frightening components of a typical law class were there. The intense and hot grilling was present, only this time, it wasnt from the monsters they call law professors but from the heat inside the room brought about by poor airoconditioning!. And speaking of monsters, a number of law professors gave their supposed to be "inspiring" welcome speech which turned out to be not only discouraging but frightening as well! Maybe that was the best they can give. Maybe thats as good as they can get! Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against professors. Yes they are monsters, but like what the #5 bar topnother said during his speech, "They are like the monsters in Monsters INC., They scare because they care".


By now, with all the negative things i mentioned above, you might be thinking "What in heavens name have I put myself into?" If its that bad, why get into it?! That is a question frequently thrown at a Freshman law student and a question that is not frequently answered clearly! Anyway, we all have our reasons... Some study law because of their lawyer-parents or lawyer-grandparents wanted to make their clone out of their children or grandchildren! Some study because of patriotic reasons like "I wanted to put justice in our society... blah blah blah". And of course, no law student can claim with a face lifted up high that money is not part of the equation. It always is.

My own reason is a combination of all those things I mentioned above including(believe it or not) putting justice in our society! The only difference is that I dont have a lawyer-parents or a lawyer-grandparents or a lawyer-relative. In fact, If god willing, I'll be the first in our clan to have an atty. attached to his name! What a great sound that would produce, Atty. Badr Salendab! ahhhhh, music to my ears! But of course, this is assuming that I survive the torture law school would give me. THis is assuming that with all hell breaks loose, I'd get pass its gate and enter the paradise land of wealth and fame and justice of course!

"Ora et Labora", with this I can! Work and prayer will do the thing!

All hell cant stop me now!!!

Monday, June 06, 2005

Someones got a zoe loose

Last week, I was dying to watch Madagascar! I've arranged several plans but they've remained just a plan! My first attempt was last monday! I was riding the MRT on my way home when I saw this huge billboard of madagascar along EDSA! I immediately texted my sister and ask her to watch the movie with me! After several texts and miscalls, still there was no reply. Impatient as i have always been, I decided to call her!

Hello
oi, san ka?
ano? tawag ka na lang maya!
san ka, nuod tayo madagascar!
Engot, dito ako sa loob ng sinehan nanunuod ng madagascar!

Then, suddenly, the faint sounds i heard from the backgroud became clear! She was indeed watching madagascar! By this time, the train has passed my stop ( quezon ave. station). Since i have no choice, I just got off at SM north station! While walking towards the FX station at SM north, I saw another movie billboard. This time it was not of madagascar but of Star wars episode 3( another movie that top my to-watch list)! So i told myself "what the heck, star wars is as good as madagascar!" So, all alone, i walked inside the theater and watched star wars!

I thought after watching star wars, the call of madascars inside my mind would fizzle out! It didin't! On my way home, I texted my officemates to watch madagascar the following day! I was happy when they all replied yes!

The following day, we were on our way to glorietta to watch the movie! We were of two groups who were going to watch two different movies. Reich and her gang was watching "house of wax" while ours was "madagascar". Then one of my "madagscar group" suggested that why not watch house of wax instead! "para masaya, marami tayo"! After waves of "pangungulit", finally I gave up to the pressure! Thinking it wouldn't be that bad, I said yes to House of wax! Indeed it wasn't that bad! It was a great experience with all the screaming and everything!( courtesy of mae and anne). I had fun watching the movie... but the fact still remains that I missed madagascar!

I finally gave up on the idea of watching the movie. Until Yesterday! My dyiing hope was revived when erika suggested this brilliant idea of watching madagascar! We asked our officemates and it turned out that Anne and her friend was also planning to watch the movie! "ayos", I excalimed!

So here I am, making this post hoping that nothing can go wrong this time... This time, it wouldnt remain just a plan!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Coup d' etat

Has anybody here seen Equilibrium? That movie of Chrisitan Bale( Batman Begins) that tells a story of life without emotions! The movie was set in the future! And like all futuristic movies, the movie features hi tech gadgets with flying cars and everything! But unlike your futuristic movie where the central theme often revolves around the "Humans versus Machines" concept, this one depicts a war between humans and emotions!

In the movie, society puts the blame of human suffering to humans' very own emotions! It was assumed that the prescence of wars, rapes, crimes, and other evils stems from the fact that humans feel envy, anger, pride, love even, and all the other possible emotions one can feel! Human emotions were seen as the roots that bloom into life the rotten fruits which are human suffering! Cut away the roots and you see the plants of evil wilt to death! And so in this movie, thats what society did! Their government made human feelings a crime! Anyone that feels anything are arrested and persecuted!

The result was a progressive, evil free, cold society devoid of subjective purpose! Their society was even short of calling it a society! It was more like a machine! Man lives for the betterment of this machine. Not for his own! The family functions as a lubricant tasked to ensure the smooth operations of this machine! Indeed, it was situation I would never want to put myself into. After I watched the movie, I remember telling myself "This ought to remain just a movie"! Except sometimes...


There are times when I envy their society! There are times when I wish all my feelings away! This is especially true when I feel down and weak! I often wonder how someone can make me feel this way! I often ask myself why. And certainly, I point the blame to my emotions. It is my feelings for that person that is behind this weakness! It is my feelings for that person that makes me act different from what ought to be done! They are the armies of the heart that overpower the dictates of my brain! In present day philippine politics, they are the coup plotters!

I wish for it to die! But it dont die easily! I pour every bucket of water to kill its burning flame! But the more water I throw to it, the bigger it becomes! It seems that what I throw is not water but gasoline!

Maybe my mind is unprepared! Maybe my mind is not yet ready to kill this emotion! or Maybe it really does not want to!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Changed me

"Nakukuha sa dasal yan"! With all the trillions of sound that entered my ears, passed through my auditory nerves as impulses, and reached my brain as a thought, this one is the most rejected by my heart! Never did I believe in it! Not once, not even a single nanosecond! Whenever someone say this words to me for the purpose of cushioning whatever fucked up situation ive put myself in to, i would just affirm it and respond with nice words like "oo nga", "salamat"! But in truth, my insides were struggling to piece together those 4 words in a logical sense! But in truth, my insides were struggling to prevent my mouth from going out of control and say "That's the most stupid response I've ever heard!"

But I would like to stress the verbal tense ive used before someone makes a big fuss about this. What I said above refers to the past! Now is different! I don't know what changed but recently, im starting to believe in the power of prayer! No, I have not seen an apparition appearing before my very eyes nor a statue flowing with tears nor what sort of a miracle have you! Unlike the others, I haven't experienced a special event which I can call the turning point of my life!

Before, due to the pressure my family or our culture in general is giving me, I feel OBLIGATED to follow the rules of my religion! I do follow them but in this liberal days of modernity, it is very hard to practice conservative beliefs! I am a muslim and we all know that Islam is a very conservative religion! The difficulty is aggravated by the fact that I now live in an environment that has a very stark contrast from the environment I used to live in! I now thrive in an environment that, considers the "forbiden things" in my religion as normal part of life and the normal part of life in my religion as forbidden! But though I sometimes go beyond the rules, I try my very best to live within them! Because I feel Obligated!


All that has changed! Now, I only practice that which I believe. But dont get me wrong, it does not mean that I've abandoned my religion. Its the fact that I've abandoned the old me! I left behind that part of myself that calls itself muslim just becuase he feels obligated to be one! All that was brought was that part that calls himself muslim because he has in his heart the true foundations of Islam! Now, I consider belief and obligation as one and the same thing!

As much as I can, I pray five times a day! Even if i dont have to ask God anything, I still pray! I dont know but prayer seems to make me feel better! I dont feel at ease when I miss any prayer! Now, if someone tells me "Magdasal ka na lang!", I would say Amen(pronounced as ahhhhmin) to that wholeheartedly!

Friday, May 27, 2005

Death to you!

you've got 18 more days left to live!
Im looking forward to the end!
Unpatiently, Im here waiting for it!
Patiently, time wheels too slow
but with every turn, comes the footsteps of death!

18 days and it'd be all over!
The dark days comes to an end!
A brighter tomorrow awaits!
The dark sun wlll forever set in the horizon
Never will it return!

Death to regrets! Death to your mediocre mind!
Goodbye failing self! the end of your life is near
Your end is a beginning! A beginning to a new world
Your cover is a door!! A door to a new journey!
Knock knock knock! Here comes death knocking at the door!